LP

Lucile Phalippou. I will never be. I dreamt about it. 

I am walking down the aisle, in a long long white satin dress. My dad is, as usual, really elegant, and so proud, holding my hand as if my life was on the line. In front of us, our son, a blondy sunshine is walking in front of us with his beautiful cousin Enora, both spreading roses petals around. My brother looks so strong beside the priest it is actually funny. He is smiling at me but i can see he is about to cry...On the left is standing Yann's sister, Aurore. Her husband and their second child waiting outside the church trying to be quiet. Aurore has flowers in her hair, she looks stunning, like an angel or a faery. My mum on the bench on the right is crying. Bibi close by, red like tomatoes. Laura, Tania, holding flowers are smiling at me. 
And here he is, standing up, nervous. Yann. A worried smile on his face, as if he couldn't believe what was happening. 
I couldn't believe it myself, in my dream, I'm thinking this is a dream, I finally convinced him to marry me, and at the church, he's standing here, waiting for me, how is this possible? I am so happy, diamonds are giggling lights in my heart. Aurore glances at him, she seems so relieved, and happy. 
When he holds my hand, I start crying, his eyes are so beautiful. And he smiles, I can see how shy his smile is and how much he is nervous, I hold his other arm and get closer. 
Then we both look at the priest. And the wedding starts. The ring are simple silver engraved "to the eternity and beyond". When we kiss, the crowd start screaming. We both laugh. Our son jumps in my arm asking : "can we go and dance now? Yes we can!, I answer." 
Leaving the church, white flowers are flying around us, I look at the sky and thank My Protecting Star. 
It is to beautiful to be true I'm thinking.

And suddenly, Yann disappears. Just before the photograph had been able to take a picture, his hand is gone from mine, I found myself alone in front of the crowd. I start panicking and look for my son everywhere, but can't see him. Falling on my knees, I start crying, this is a dream, you'll never marry the man you loved, your sunshine son will never live. You're alone in your white dress, the photograph looks so sad. People look at you with pity. My mum and my dad act like nothing happened. One per one people start disappearing around, Aurore is the last. She is seated on the stairs, crying too. I am asking her: " how did you accept it?" And after a minute she eventually says : " I didn't... I'm just living with it."