I am feeling so lonely.
I have prayed many times for those I love in the past. I sat on your stair and asked you to give joy, health and happiness to many of my closest. I thought about them a lot on my knees bending under your willingness. I thanked you for making me alive and lucky. I thanked you for what I had lived and for what I was going to. I hoped I'll be strong enough to walk the way you opened for me and I felt blessed for having a roof above my head always and the comfort some doesn't even have.
But today I feel down. I still have everything I need. I am still a lucky girl. But it seems I can't find happiness in what I have.
I'm healthy and I'm loved by those who really know me. I won't ask you for more money or more friends or more opportunities or even for me to find my soulmate if he does exist..
I only would like a sign that everything is going to be ok. I feel forgotten and ignored. I feel lost and fade. I feel going down with nothing to catch to prevent the fall.
I've been trying harder and harder and even if I failed so many times to be the person I wanted to be. The smart girl I believed I was and the kind girl I will always be. But I had no recognition of it anywhere and it's being difficult for me to keep running.
I can see people around me being sad too and not being able to help as much as I could. I can see all the effort I've made to help myself and the others with no luck or rewards. What lesson should I learn then ?
This seems self centered and selfish but here I am asking you for help.
Please help me.